SOMETHINGS PARENTS WISHED THEIR TEENAGE KIDS KNEW ABOUT THEM

We are living in the dark days on the issue of honoring parents. There are perhaps more teenagers today who are breaking the hearts of their parents and trampling on the law of God than ever before. How many kids treat their parents with contempt and make light of their entreaties?

If Apostle Paul were alive today, he would not have described the present state of affairs more truly than he did in 2 Timothy 3:1-3 when he said: “But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good.”

Parents have the greatest opportunity as teachers of anyone in the world, at least, both princes and paupers pass through the tutelage of parents. Most times, they desire the very best for their kids and would do anything, pay any price to procure happiness and comfort for them.

Unfortunately, not all kids, especially teenagers acknowledge this. Very few youths appreciate their parents, wish them well and do things to reciprocate their love and care. How does one explain a situation whereby a young man will have the kindest care from parents; they will watch over him and care for all his wants and some bad companion will come in and sweep him away from them in a few weeks?

How many young ladies have married against their parents’ wishes and have gone off and made their own lives bitter? There is hardly any case that turns out well. The Bible reveals that 30 out of the 33 years of Jesus Christ’s life on earth were silent years. But the secret of those silent years is embodied in Luke 2:51-52, which states: “Then He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was subject to them, but His mother kept all these things in her heart. And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.”

Didn’t our Lord Jesus Christ set an example of true family love and care? Every kid then should stoop low and be subject to parental authority, for every parent desires to lavish love and care on their kids the best way they can. So each child should reciprocate these good gestures by appreciating and esteeming high the parental values so cherished.

From experience of counselling parents and teenagers and still experiencing teenagers behaviour, we are going to pen down the heart yearnings of parents. I’ll surely count it a blessing to all parents and teenagers who will read through this series as we unfold them in the weeks ahead.

Teenagers, you are going to read out the bursts from the heartbeat of your parents. You should understand this to make a turning point in your life which hitherto has been drifting away. I do not only wish you a happy reading but expect this to be a profitable time too.

1.   Dad and Mum expect you to be subject to their authority, though not sheepishly but with a sense of understanding. When a kid respects parental authority, he will naturally learn to respect constituted authority at school or work.  

He or she will also respect civil rules which make for healthy citizenship in the society. This will thus bring about national development.

2.   In this age of esteem for academic pursuit, every parent wants each kid to excel. For literate parents they want their offspring to succeed them in their professions or in other profitable fields. 

For the illiterate parents, their heart cry is that their children get out of the darkness of ignorance and illiteracy and soar high to the peak or pinnacle of formal education which brings knowledge. Would you not respond by paying keen attention to your studies at school and college then?

3.   Parents never want their teenage kid to be a mediocre or one who depends on others but rather that all his or her education and training should make him or her self-reliant, independent and able to stand for whatever course he or she has willingly chosen.

4.   Parents expect their teenage kid to represent them well outside to show the virtues taught at home. This includes virtues of humility, self-control, good manners, integrity, honesty and cleanliness.

5.   All parents would like to see their teenage kid uphold his/her religious beliefs which have been patiently taught him or her from the cradle. No ideal parent would relegate to the background, matters of spiritual values when he or she knows that they are of eternal worth. The precepts of the Word of God form the only way by which a child can be wise onto salvation.

Young Timothy was praised for his adherence to the Word of God and he became wise and successful. Teenagers should not shun the doctrines of eternal life taught to them by godly parents. This is fundamental to success even in other areas of life. Teenagers should understand this; they should appreciate and help their parents not to fail in their God-given responsibility of child training.

6.   Parents are usually proud of their teenage kids when they are not social misfits, vagabonds and miscreants but rather when they are well adjusted in the society. They rejoice when they see their kids respect elders, mix well with other good kids, display attitudes of fairness, tolerance, kindness, etc to others in the community.

7.   Generally, parents love to have their teenage kids confide in them. This is why most parents build up themselves to give and accept the confidence of their kids and not betray them. Such parents also learn to understand the moods, idiosyncrasies, youthful exuberance and traits of their teenagers. When kids express their problems and fears to them, this will help them counsel the kids aright.

8.   Almost all parents abhor idleness but respect dignity of labour. This is the main reason why each child from infancy is charged with responsibilities in domestic work at home. This is in a bid to teach them the dignity of labour.

When the child does well, parents reward them but when they do wrong, they are corrected or punished.

9.   Good parents know that no teenager can train himself or herself without being guided. Discipline is training and when the child is punished for wrong, it is not to be termed as hatred, rather the kids should see that aspect of training as love in discipline. Any kid left to himself/herself without rebuke will become spoilt and he or she will regret that in future.

10. Parents value time and they know that time is life. This is why each kid is taught time management to avoid being sluggish at work or wasting time by idling away.

11. Every good parent wants the kid to be emotionally stable in life and get a good spouse who will help him or her fulfill life’s goals. This is why parents will like to guide each kid in the choice of marriage partner if given the chance.

12. No parent will fold his or her arms and watch their kids associate with bad friends, wayward youths, unruly kids, drug addicts, alcoholics, immoral friends, lazy drones or those involved with occultism, etc. This is why parents request to know the types of friends their children keep. Such parents normally give their children principles of selecting friends although they leave them to make their choices but report back to their parents for approval or otherwise.

13. Parents want their teenagers to know that their concern for their good upbringing makes it appear as if they are always “teleguiding” them. Teenagers should learn that this is not always true. Parents are only careful to help them avoid dangers which life’s experiences have bestowed upon them and they do not wish a repeated occurrence for their living kids. Therefore, young ones understand your parents at such times.

14. At times, parents watch their teenagers go through some rigorous tasks and experiences, though not dangerous, in order to make them develop toughness to face life challenges. Fortunately, teenagers too love this because they feel responsible at such times. However, the parents would readily come to rescue the kid if there is any indication of impending danger. Once the objective and goal is achieved, the kid becomes mature and the parents become happy that the kid could stand similar trying circumstances in the future.

15. Parents often want their kids to obey their instructions promptly as any act of disobedience makes them unhappy and breaks their hearts.

16. Do you realise that your parents want you to regard them and not to challenge them openly in wilful defiance? When you honour them, they will not ridicule you or treat you unkindly. A kid can enjoy complete security and safety if he or she learns to live with the consciousness of what his or her parents accept and abhor. That kid will not need to be nervous when either parent suddenly appears if only he or she is doing right.